Did you hear about the guy who woke and heard intruders coming up the stairs, but all his guns were safely locked away in a vault — downstairs? How `bout the guy who left pistols lying about in several places throughout his house, but a burglar found one before he did? And there was that other dude, who used to keep a revolver in a zipped gun rug under the driver’s seat of his car, and the one time in his life he needed it, he discovered it had migrated to the rear floorboard, prob’ly when he had accelerated kinda briskly. A gunfight might have ensued — but he didn’t have a gun, so it was just a shooting.

Yeah, we all know all of them because we’ve heard or read about `em several times. The lesson to be learned is, Don’t be that guy! When it comes to safely storing handguns, “secure” doesn’t have to mean “inaccessible,” and “safe” doesn’t necessarily mean “slow.” Here are some solutions for safety, speed and security in your home, business, vehicle and RV.

GunVault Multi 2000

Choose either a keypad-controlled design, like the MultiVault 2000 (bottom), or a fingerprint-recognition model like the MultiVault Biometric (top) and you’re assured of security and speed of access. www.gunvault.com

Life Jacket LJ2 COLT Revolver

The Life Jacket from MSE Group has earned an excellent reputation for strength and quality, but I’m surprised at the number of people who aren’t aware it can be screwed or bolted in place It clamps your firearm in a key-locked “clamshell” housing absolutely denying access to the trigger and action, but opens quickly with a twist of the key. www.msegroupllc.com

Sure Set Holster Mounts

For sheer strength and rigidity combined with adjustable-angle flexibility, the Sure Set Holster Mount is hard to beat. This is a great design for mounting on the underside of desks or counters, on the sides or backs of heavy furnishings, filing cabinets and such, and between bucket seats of trucks and cars. The best part is, the head-piece will accept almost any holster. www.sshmi.com

Secure Logic

The Secure Logic Wall Vault insets into the wall flush enough you can hang something over it for a bit more security; framed art or a mirror, whatever. There are two models, one using an electronic touch-code keypad, while the biometric model operates by a user-programmable fingerprint recognition system which registers up to six fingerprints. A nice touch is when activated to open, the front door panel drops down silently. Californians note: It’s Calif D.O.J. approved. Learn more about it at www.wall-vault.com.

Secret Storage Box

Finally, if these suggestions are just too techno or too much trouble for you and you’d rather just cut a big hole inside a hefty book to hide your howitzer, for Pete’s sake at least get a pro to do it so it’s nice and neat and won’t fill your Roscoe fulla chaff and jam the action, okay? Go to their Web site to see their impressive array of real books, not plasticized phony-lookin’ fakes, carefully carved to contain just about any shooter up to the size of your .896 GruntFire Magnum. Choose from any genre — except maybe “Comic.” I know they’re your favorites, but they’re just too thin. www.secretstoragebooks.com

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