Succulent Gear Releases Next Generation Bacon Holster
Succulent Gear, a leading manufacturer of holsters and magazine pouches, has announced the availability of their next-generation hybrid holsters.
“Our new hybrid line combines the three finest substances known to man – Kydex, leather and bacon,” bragged Succulent Gear CEO Jimmy Dean. “We’ve had enthusiastic customer response to our hybrid holsters, so we started thinking about ways to reach the next level of defensive culinary performance.”
One of the primary objectives of the new triple hybrid line was ease and speed of draw. Succulent Gear product managers tested thousands of materials before settling on bacon as the foundation of the new holster. Early customers agree with the choice and recognize its distinct draw speed advantages.
“This new bacon holster is sure slick on the draw,” gushed Clayton Moore, better known as ‘The Lone Ranger.’ “It almost feels like the interior is self-lubricating. I have to admit that the whole rig can get a little greasy at times, but on the plus side, it’s a heck of a lot easier to put on my skin-tight cowboy pants now.”
Industry insiders were given advance looks at the new holster line. FMG Publications’ Roy Huntington recently completed a comprehensive review of the new triple hybrid. “Mmmmmm. Bacon,” purred Huntington.
Asked about future versions of the bacon holster, Dean replied, “You might look for a double-thick or lattice version soon. We think it’s an excellent way to consolidate a day or so’s worth of emergency rations right in the holster itself.”
No pricing was available as of this writing.
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