Exclusive: Retro Trigger Time With The Terminator

The hulking psychopathic cyborg from the future walked into the local gun shop, his preternaturally square jaw locked in a menacing scowl and his glowing red eyes hidden behind a pair of stolen sunglasses. After securing an Uzi, an AR180 and a Franchi Spas12, the Terminator requests a “.45 Longslide with laser sighting” in Arnold Schwarzenegger’s inimitable Austrian drawl.

The shopkeeper in this hypothetical California gun shop expresses his respect for the deadly mechanical killer’s knowledge of firearms and presumably reaches for the ATF Form 4473. This is the administrative document that will undoubtedly prevent the murderous machine from obtaining his weapons when he voluntarily lists his birthday as 30 years in the future. Anybody who has seen the classic James Cameron movie knows the outcome. The Terminator voices his disdain for mandatory waiting periods and background checks, terminates the hapless shopkeeper and walks out of the shop with a pile of inexplicably full auto weapons. The next time we see the Terminator he is wielding his new .45 Longslide with murderous efficiency.

Certain firearms carried by our favorite film characters become movie icons. Among them would be Dirty Harry Callahan’s classic Smith and Wesson .44 Magnum, John McClain’s Beretta 92 from Die Hard, and Han Solo’s Bolo Broomhandle Mauser Blaster from Star Wars. Don’t forget the decked-out Desert Eagles from Boondock Saints, and then there is, of course, James Bond’s Walther PPK. In the world of movie guns, however, little is cooler than the Terminator’s Longslide .45.

The primitive laser sight in the Terminator movie was enhanced a bit for cinematic effect but was novel, sexy, and state-of-the-art in 1984. Nowadays laser sights are ubiquitous. Around $20 will get you a cheap example in a blister pack at Wal-Mart. Where the 1984 version was bulky and obnoxious, today’s versions reside within recoil spring guide rods or grip panels taking up no space at all.

Meanwhile, Back in the Real World

Genius is an overused descriptor these days but John Moses Browning exemplifies the term. His firearm designs armed the planet. Today’s latest generation Glock still is, at its heart, a Browning Hi-Power wrapped in a little Information-Age plastic. Old John’s classic 1911 is arguably an integral part of the soul of America.

The Browning-designed 1911 is undoubtedly the most adaptable handgun in human history. It has been shrunk down to make a pocket pistol, expanded to handle magnum cartridges, and tweaked by pistolsmith artisans into configurations John Moses never could have imagined. One of these variations involved a little stretching.

Back in the 1980’s Acadia Machine and Tool produced three versions of the classic 1911. I drooled over the stainless steel Commando, Government and Longslide models back before I was old enough to own my own handguns. Apparently James Cameron had a similar fetish as it was the Longslide version equipping his husky time-traveling assassin.

Trigger Time

The .45 ACP is a hefty cartridge. It was designed to put down fanatical Muslim Moro tribesmen terrorists who were trivially inconvenienced by the .38 caliber service rounds of the early 20th century. Considering they were rumored to have tied wet leather thongs around their testicles that shrank as they dried, perhaps that yields some insight into their prodigious enthusiasm. The inviolate dicta of physics demand a pistol launching Jeff Cooper’s .45 caliber Flying Ashtrays will have a substantial recoil. While physical laws are unyielding, they can yet be massaged by a good engineer.

The extra mass afforded by the Longslide’s stretched barrel and slide makes the gun remarkably soft-shooting. Recoil is pleasant and gradual and the legendarily sweet single action 1911 trigger makes for an accuracy package par excellence. Rapid firing through an entire seven-round magazine is an enjoyable experience and keeping the rounds in the black at reasonable ranges is not a chore.

The Longslide will fit in any appropriate 1911 holster with an open bottom, though it obviously takes a little extra effort to clear the muzzle. While I enjoy shooting my Longslide, I can’t see my ever carrying it for serious social work. If I truly needed the extra reach afforded by the spare 2″ worth of barrel I really should have packed a rifle.

The Millet sights on my version are robust and readily adjustable with a small screwdriver. The combination of the extended slide and barrel along with the nicely adjustable sights yields an irresistible temptation to try the gun at absurd ranges. There is an unfortunate ventilated Coke can or three littering up my rural Mississippi farm that can attest to the weapon’s accuracy potential at one hundred meters.

The trigger is oversized and adjustable. The slide stop and safety are extended but not ambidextrous. The top of the slide is ridged to reduce glare. The grips are soft rubber and wrap around the front. The dichotomy of the polished stainless frame juxtaposed against the raw cast finish of the rest of the gun is aesthetically easy on the eyes.

The Longslide technically takes standard 7-round 1911 box magazines but mine is finicky. Some in my collection fit perfectly and some do not fit at all. Hard to figure that.

Musings

The Terminator is one of my all-time favorite movies. The argument could be made everything else Arnold Schwarzenegger did subsequent to that flick, to include two terms as Governor of California, was a mere shadow of that original film. The Terminator was Arnold’s perfect role. All he had to do was act mean and look awesome and he did those two things better than anybody else in the world might have done them.

The Hardballer Longslide .45 occupies an interesting place in a firearms collection. There are lots better tactical carry handguns. There are countless better options for engaging targets at a distance. However, if you want a gun that acts mean and looks awesome little really does it better.