Speak Softly And Carry A Cane?

A hunnert’ years ago on a graveyard shift I was engaged in a spirited disagreement with a bad guy. My new friend and I eventually fell out of a pick-up truck bed, and he sort of landed on me. I heard and felt my back make a sort of “pop” and thought uh-oh, among other thoughts. But since our little dispute over him coming with me vs. him staying was still being discussed, I ignored the pop and those pesky shooting pains. Once things settled, I did what everyone with a hurt back does, twisting around some at the hips, bending forward and backward — generally doing everything I shouldn’t have done. Over the years my back blessed me with a herniated disc just to remind me of the good times we’ve had together.

A few years ago as I bent in the garage to sweep some welding slag into a dustpan I felt a sort of “crunchy” feeling from my lower back. They need better words than “ouch” for those occasions. As my vision cleared, Scout and Amelie the Wonder Dogs kept licking my face as I lay on the cold concrete. “Get up dad, throw the ball.” After a couple of months of “Not getting any better, Doc,” the miracle of a CAT scan introduced me to my herniated disc up-close. I also discovered there wasn’t a darn thing anyone could do about it. Thanks doc.

I had used a cane before when my back was acting up and always kept one handy, “… just in case.” I don’t need ’em to actually walk or keep my balance, but being able to ease some weight off my hips and back can make a long day on my feet easier. Can you relate? Plus, people open doors for you and you don’t have to ask for your senior discount — they just assume.

Added Benefits

I generally use my cane to point, poke, prod or help make my point about something. Nothing like a cane waving around to get attention. One day I suddenly realized I had been oblivious to the fact I had been carting around a pretty darn good weapon. I found a rattan/bamboo old-school looking cane specifically made for fighting and bought it. It’s light, indestructible, and I replaced the rubber end with a solid bronze one. “Bein’ since” (as we say here in Missouri) I had some nightstick training as a cop, I was also able to translate some basic moves which work swell with the cane. A quick “Thwack, thump, poke, smack” in about that order could really get a bad guy’s attention. Since I’m still pretty mobile and perfectly able to walk and such, I can magically transform from a crooked semi-old guy, to an angry semi-old guy, holding his cane and likely smiling a bit in anticipation of thumping some miscreant who’s exhibiting bad intentions.

If you actually “need” a cane, you also need to figure out how to defend yourself with it — and still stay on your feet, if possible. I’m no expert at all, so find someone who can help you with that. What I mostly like about this is you can take a cane anywhere, anytime and nobody can say a darn thing to you about it. Not the TSA, not the doorman, not the court clerk — nobody. I fly with my Cold Steel Pistol Grip City Stick if I don’t have a carry gun for some reason. At least it gives you “something” to fight back with and I’m telling you, it can be very effective. Watch some YouTube videos (do a search for Michael Janich) and you’ll see what I mean.

Now if you elect to get a sword cane (which I like too for the “extra” surprise factor), keep in mind flying, going some places (and some states) is off-limits so check the laws out there. But a good, old-fashioned cane, or one from the likes of Cold Steel (made specifically for defense) is a very cool, low-profile way to defend you and yours. Plus, you can be dapper too, which isn’t a bad thing at all.