It's Only Your Life

Some time ago, we completed a Ladies Defensive Handgun Course at Thunder Ranch and, as always, I learned some new things and reaffirmed some things I’d seen before. In all honesty, I’ve seen the same things for many years but wanted to confirm it one more time before I wrote this.

As is the case with such things, there are always two sides to most stories. This story has the man’s view — and the women’s view. First off, as best as I can recall, when marriage vows are exchanged the parties declare in public to do things together and to support one other and to be there until the inevitable death that accompanies life with distressing regularity. Over the years I have
seen and heard a lot of peculiar things considering the marriage vows we agreed upon.

Women:

• “It’s his place to protect me … that’s a man’s job.”
• “Nothing has ever happened to us, besides I don’t like guns.”
• “I don’t like guns around the house … we have kids.”

Men:

• “She doesn’t like guns … I took her to the range once and she didn’t like shooting my .44 Magnum.”
• “Yeah, I gave her my old gun when I bought my new one.
• “She doesn’t really need a good gun — she doesn’t shoot much anyway.”

Hand-Me-Downs

For the man of the family there is a point of interest here. Most men cannot teach their wives how to shoot. In many cases, short tempersand impatience have ruined the potential to create new women shooters. In short, men can be assholes in this department. The really sad part is this ruins the possibility of having man’s best potential partner available to him in a life or death conflict — his wife.

Being smooth, like you were when you were dating, how about a bouquet of flowers and a dinner out as a introduction to the, “Oh by the way, what do you think about going to the range and shooting a little? You don’t have to be like a SWAT guy or in the Army or anything like that when we go. Just consider learning the mechanics and some basic marksmanship. Please?” You smooth devil you. If you can have her get basic skills as part of a class or with other like-gender shooters it sometimes smooths the way.

Next point: Do you really think it’s a good idea to give your wife your hand-me-down handgun? I’ve often heard “I got this gun from my husband when he got his new one.” Men, lets get this straight. You are going to take a handgun you don’t really want and pass it down to your partner? Not to overstate the case, and not every hand me down handgun is a bad one, but most I’ve seen wouldn’t be my first choice for my wife — or even yours.

Puppies Are Cute — Not Guns

For the women, it is a bold assumption that you presume to be above getting your hands dirty by defending your husband, children and yourself. Women, by what I know of them by nature, nurture, grow and care for things. The thought of taking a life is generally against the grain of the gender. However, whoever said “Hell hath no fury like a women defending her children or family” knew of what he — or she — spoke of. They display the heart of a Nazi sniper when they have to. The problem is, ladies, the skills of defending yourself with firearms or, for that matter, any tool, requires practice. The level of skill required to win cannot be drummed-up at a moment’s notice in the middle of a fight. If other humans are attacking your husband and or children, the skills required must be onboard before the fight starts.

This brings up the selection of which handgun to buy. I don’t care, but a handgun is supposed to be comforting in a fight — not comfortable to carry. You may have to alter your dress or lifestyle to accommodate your ability to defend yourself or your family. You will most likely fight at arms length with your choice — and your life will depend on your choice — both in effectiveness and function. Handguns are not supposed to be cute. Puppies are cute. Handguns are supposed to stop a fight. Possession of a handgun does not equate to competency. I hear “I have owned a handgun all my life.” So you know, I have a grand piano in my living room and I am not a concert pianist.

So then the scenario is, I’m attacked in the parking lot at the Wonder-Mart. I am on the ground and being kicked in the face and ribs by multiple assailants. My whatever-handgun comes clear of my retention holster and skids across the parking lot. The woman in my defense hopefully picks up the gun — or maybe takes hers from her place of carry — and shoots the snot out of the bad guys. So do you think she should know how to take off the safety and apply Marksmanship at that point? Would I like her to defend me/us with my old hand-me-down pistol that works most of the time?

The two of you should decide now, before there is blood coming from your mouth, nose and ears as you lay in some parking lot listening to the grunts of three hard-cases as they kick the life out of you, on some cold night in the future.