Kindergarten Callings — And Critical Figurin’
Armed with ice cream, Owen celebrates with his buddies in the shade on a hot summer day.
“Guns are stupid,” exclaimed 6-year-old Paul! “No they’re not,” stated Owen, as a matter of fact, as in “No discussion is needed on the topic.” It was “free-time” before lunch in Ms. Fesco’s kindergarten class, room 24. The kids were getting a little ornery before lunch when the great debate between mighty midgets got started. It was the start of the new school year and the boys had just met.
Introductions
Here’s a little background among our contestants. First up is Owen, a bright 6-year old, nick-named “Knowin’ Owen” because he almost always knows the correct answer. The crew cut, ginger-headed boy has a fiendishly freckled nose. He’s decked out in jeans, canvas hiking boots and a T-shirt with a trout on it.
His contestant is “Know It All Paul” for obvious reasons. He may or may not be right, but he thinks he is. We all know people like this, right? He’s decked-out like a mini version of his dad, when he was a frat boy in college. Chino pants, tasseled loafers with no socks and a pink Izod shirt with collar stiffly standing up complete his ensemble.
Paul’s parents are well off and are willing to spend anything on him, except time. Owen’s parents are also hardworking, but work their schedules around, to spend as much time as they can with Owen and his two other brothers and a sister. His dad is a former Marine and currently works as an upper-level manager for the feds, while his mom works weekends as a nurse. Owen’s dad hunts, fishes and shoots with the boys, teaching them as they spend time together.
Paul’s parents are usually too busy with their social life to spend much time with him. Being an only child, he usually spends weekends parked in front of the TV playing video games with Scooter, his hypoallergenic Labor-doodle and best friend, along with his babysitte
Critical Critter Thinking
“If you don’t have a gun, how ya’ going to get a squirrel out of a tree,” Owen asked? “Why would you want to get a squirrel out of a tree,” asked Paul, shaking his head? “To eat it, silly!” “Yuck! Who eats squirrel?” “We do! They taste really good when mom fries them up! Mmmm, I’m getting hungry just thinking about them,” said Owen.
“Eeww, gross! We eat pizza at our house,” Paul proudly protests. “So do we, but we eat squirrel sometimes too, along with rabbit and pheasants,” Owen proudly punts back. “Back to getting those squirrels, how are you going to get them down? Are you going to call them? ‘Here squirrelly, squirrelly, come on down’… hahahahha,” Owen giggled. “We wouldn’t want them to come down, because we don’t eat those things” Paul exclaimed.
“Okay, what if a rabid raccoon attacks your dog? What are you going to do then,” Owen ominously asks. “I’d have daddy call someone for help,” Paul states. “Yeah, but the ‘coon is biting and scratching your dog right now! Wouldn’t you want to help your dog as soon as possible? If your dad had a gun, you wouldn’t need to call someone.” Paul is silent as he thinks this horrendous scenario over, almost coming to tears.
He loves his dog, Scooter, and the thought of Scooter getting torn up by a raccoon is both scary and sad to him. “Hmmm, maybe you got a point there, Owen.” Reflecting on their conversation, Paul asks Owen, “What’s squirrel taste like?” “Kinda’ like a mixture of chicken and a pork chop. It’s good,” says Owen.
An Invitation
“Maybe someday you can go hunting with me and my dad. We’d have fun! Even when we don’t get nothin’ we still have fun. We walk in the woods and the leaves crunch under our feet. The colors in the woods are purty and ‘specially cool looking. Sometimes we even see a deer or a turkey!
“Old Farmer Dobbs usually has his woodstove burnin’, making the air smell like smoke. Sometimes his wife even bakes a cherry pie for us to eat after the hunt when we go visit and thank them!”
Paul thought about Owen’s description and had to admit to himself it sounded like fun. “Let me ask my parents,” said Paul. “Now, we can’t actually carry guns until we pass the hunter’s safety class, but its still fun exploring the woods and watching daddy hunt. We can help spot squirrels for him, so he can shoot them out of the tree,” Owen tells his newfound buddy.
By this time, Paul is kinda’ getting excited about possibly going on a squirrel hunt. It sure would beat playing video games by himself.
Ms. Fesco tells her class it’s lunchtime and to walk single-file into the cafeteria. “I sure wish they served fried squirrel at school sometime, I’m kinda’ curious now as to how it tastes,” Paul surprisingly tells Owen. “Come on buddy, you’ll get to taste it at my house this fall,” as Owen puts his arm around Paul’s shoulder and they head off to the cafeteria laughing and giggling.
Isn’t it amazing how smart and full of common sense some kids are at such a young age? Their ability to freely think things over and make decisions is also fascinating when their minds aren’t pre-programed.
Maybe some adults could learn something from a freethinking 6-year old?
