Magnum Force

Why would anybody want one of those massive, large-bore Smith & Wesson handguns? The things are as big as hubcaps and as heavy as mortar rounds. They are uncomfortable to tote and deliver a butt-whooping on the range. For certain specific applications, however, nothing else really strikes a proper balance between portability and serious downrange thump.

THE APEX PREDATOR

I was piloting a US Army CH47D helicopter nap-of-the-earth tracking north to south just east of the Salcha River deep within the Alaskan interior. This massive machine maxed out at 50,000 pounds and coaxed 9,000 shaft horsepower out of its twin Lycoming turbines. Our airspeed was just south of 170 knots, around 200 mph, and we were making the devil’s own racket.

The radar altimeter read 10 feet or less as we skimmed the treetops enjoying the intoxicating adrenaline rush unique to military aviation. My flight engineer had wired a boombox into the intercom system to pour forth Led Zeppelin in all its screeching radioactive splendor. If ever there was a more perfect day I had yet to experience it. To the American taxpayer all I can really say is, from my heart, thanks.

Flying a helicopter low and fast is what keeps you alive in combat. At least that was the excuse we used this particular day. I cleared a thick stand of alders and broke out into a broad green meadow, dropping the aircraft down to 10 feet or less above the grass. Unexpectedly there appeared off our nose one of those enormous cinnamon grizzly bears for which Alaska is justifiably famous, minding his own business as he feasted on the bountiful berries seeming to blanket the state. Without thinking I tapped the cyclic backward a hair and bounced right over the big guy’s head, clearing him by perhaps a dozen feet.

My flight engineer came up on the intercom and reported as we passed over the animal he stood up on his hind legs and swatted at us. These bears are as big as Volkswagens. They’re not afraid of anything, not even a 25-ton, 99-foot screaming green bird. Was I ever to encounter that big cinnamon grizzly bear while out fishing for kings in his neighborhood, I can think of no better company than a big-bore Smith & Wesson revolver.

A BREED APART

“Magnum” is a Latin term indicating something large, great or important. A magnum bottle of wine carries 1.5 liters, or twice that of a normal sort of bottle. A magnum cartridge is a bigger, manlier version of something smaller and less powerful.

We really have four men to thank for the phenomenon of the magnum cartridge. Elmer Keith, Phillip Sharpe and D.B. Wesson conjured the .357 Mag. cartridge back in 1934. Thirty-five years later Clint Eastwood debuted the movie Dirty Harry and weaponized the term.

Harry Callahan and his Model 29 .44 Mag. changed the American lexicon. His testosterone-laden mannerisms embodied the ideal of the “Real Man.” At a time when the Age of Aquarius threatened to neuter American virility, Dirty Harry gently reminded the planet we were still the baddest boys on the block.

Smith & Wesson defines these handguns by their frame size, each family identified by a single letter appellation. While this may seem a bit simplistic, I suspect there is somebody out there who might benefit from the treatise. The J-Frame is the small compact sort. K-Frame guns are the medium-sized heaters. L-Frames are beefed-up version of the K-Frame and N-Frames are the large versions.

Just in case you are still feeling yet unfulfilled, Smith now offers the X-Frame revolvers in .500 S&W Magnum. These monster handguns dwarf even the N-Frame of the Model 29, throw slugs the size of your thumb and are what put the “holy” into Holy Crap!

TRIGGER TIME ON HARRY’S HOGLEG

The phenomenon of Dirty Harry was as much about his firearm as it was about Clint Eastwood’s gritty character. The N-Frame .44 Mag. first saw light in 1955, but it sold tepidly until 1971 when the movie debuted. After that America’s gun stores couldn’t keep the big wheelguns in stock. Today the Model 29 is an American icon. All Smith wheelguns are great. The Model 29 is greater.

The 47.7-oz. Model 29 starts with a carbon steel frame and includes a fixed red ramp up front as well as an adjustable rear sight. The single-action/double-action trigger is wide and comfortable, sporting the same slick greasy mechanicals for which Smith is justifiably esteemed. The 6.5″ carbon steel barrel gives the gun an overall length of an even foot.

The cylinder, frame and barrel are all beautifully blued, while the unpretentious walnut grips exude a timeless American power vibe. There is just something mystical about the synergy of all those graceful lines. To my knowledge I have never been mistaken for cool, yet running Dirty Harry’s big revolver almost gets me there.

The .44 Mag. is a big cartridge. While Dirty Harry’s claim it can “Blow a man’s head clean off” might be a bit specious, few would dispute the fact this father of all modern big-bore rounds can be a handful. The gun is not fun, but it is accurate and vigorous, rocking back in recoil just enough for reliable dramatic effect. Should you wish to tweak the violence back a bit for practice, the gun runs reduced-charge .44 Spl. loads just fine as well. MSRP of the Model 29 is $1,169.

THE X-FACTOR

The X-Frame S&W 500 is the most powerful production revolver in the world. The cartridge is so energetic the gun had to be built around a totally new frame. The X-Frame stands for “Extra Large,” and it is indeed a beast.

The test gun I received looks stubby given its 4″ barrel, and it weighs 56 oz. empty. The overall length is about 10″, and it packs five of those massive sparkplug-sized rounds onboard. Heavy? Yes, but let’s face it. Nobody buys this hand cannon to drop into their front pocket for a fast trip to the Quik-E-Mart for a gallon of milk and some diapers.

The front sight is a red ramp while the rear sight is fully adjustable. The beefy ported muzzle sports interchangeable compensators for jacketed and lead bullets. The overall effect is as though you scaled a 5-shot defensive revolver to fit Goliath (that Philistine giant stood around 9 feet tall). This howitzer of a handgun is like a grenade launcher riding on your belt.

MOTHER OF ALL REVOLVERS

The experience of shooting the .500 is actually surprisingly pleasant. Recoil is mild and follow-up shots are smooth and fun. Fast 5-shot strings poured forth as smoothly as might cheese from a pressurized can. My nephew is a precocious 2-year-old toddler not yet fully housebroken, and he could manage this sweet-shooting gun … Just kidding! That’s all crap. Firing the short-barreled .500 is like wrapping your mitts around a bomb.

The mechanics are exactly what you would expect. The trigger is as smooth as a baby’s butt and much more predictable. The sights are easily acquired, and the geometry of the gun is indeed superlative. The X-Frame fills your hand, and the abbreviated tube keeps the whole package stubby enough to remain portable while wandering about where the Wild Things roam. The raw, unfiltered power, however, is attention-getting.
This gun was a fresh new experience for me. You’ve got to hang on to the thing. Recoil is like, well, touching off a .50-caliber cartridge in a snub-nosed handgun, but the sheer heft almost keeps things sane. Mass times velocity in one direction will always equal mass times velocity in the other direction. That’s not just a good idea. That’s the law.

At close pistol ranges the S&W .500 is quite accurate. At seven yards I could print nice tight clusters of 0.5″ holes. Out to perhaps 30 meters I could easily keep my rounds within minute-of-grizzly. This isn’t the gun you will use to plink cans with your grandchildren. However, if the threat weighs half a ton and might legitimately eat you, then this is the tool for the task. The MSRP is $1,369.

A WORD OF CAUTION

The .38 Spl. revolvers our grandparents carried on their hips packed 225 foot-pounds of energy. The S&W .500 Magnum puts out 2,877. Do the math. From the perspective of pure Newtonian physics, this is like launching a dozen .38 Spl. rounds at once. This thing is a monster.

Nothing about the design is unsafe or poorly reasoned. It is simply the .500 Magnum operates at up to 60,000 psi. A quick jet of gas plasma scooting out through a gap of 6 to 7 thousandths of an inch between the cylinder and the forcing cone could foment a spot of mischief if not properly respected. Do not slip your thumb out abreast the cylinder gap on these big-bore revolvers.

In fact, running these two guns burned holes in the beanbag I use as a shooting rest and left my hand bleeding despite the fact I wore gloves. These are both serious guns for serious applications, not recreational plinkers. I’ve never been so glad to get done with a range session, but both of these cannons are legitimately effective hunting and survival tools.

FINAL RUMINATIONS

There are a few legitimate reasons to consider a large-bore Smith revolver as a working gun. They are much more portable than even the most compact shotgun, and make for good company if you are out wandering about in the sort of places where the predators are big and bitey. Additionally, there is a timeless allure to just being the guy with the baddest gun on the range.

“Awesome” is an overused term. A generation of semi-literate surfers has all but ruined it. However, Smith & Wesson does indeed make some of the most awesome revolvers in the world. The Model 29 is powerful and cool, like a chunk of Americana you can hold in your hand. The S&W .500 Magnum is the stuff of ballistic legend. Either of these guns will put hair on your chest no matter your gender.

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