GUNCRANK DIARIES

Excuses, Alibis, Pithy Observations & General Ephus

Get more Guncrank Free every Friday. Subscribe here:

GET GUNCRANK CHRONICLES EVERY FRIDAY!

Cause of Death:...

It was scout pilot nirvana. We had four OH58 aeroscout helicopters and but two rated 58 drivers. We were therefore tasked to fly off our flying hour program...
Read Full Article
Lying is Like a...

One of ten seminal directives issued directly from the mouth of God Himself, the ninth commandment against professing falsehood represents arguably the most...
Read Full Article
Four Sentences

I’m told I can explore a little fiction in this venue from time to time as long as I don’t make a habit of it.
Read Full Article
Don’t Eat the...

We were all poor and living hand to mouth. We each maintained a cabinet in the kitchen that we kept stocked with ramen, mac and cheese and similar low-cost...
Read Full Article
The Deep Magic...

How could something so ethereal and diaphanous be so unimaginably powerful?
Read Full Article
Of Domesticated...

The year was 1913, and my grandfather was but eight years old. He lived on a rural Mississippi farm along with his parents and dozen siblings.
Read Full Article
The Mystery of...

It still amazes me after all these years that I can speak so dispassionately about this stuff.
Read Full Article
Perfectly Good...

Why does the military let children do such grownup things? I just wanted the funny hat. It is amazing what young men will do for a funny hat.
Read Full Article
Life Lessons in...

It was one of those preternaturally cold January days in the Deep South —about ten degrees out. The kids were inside doing school, and there was something...
Read Full Article
A First Time for...

I have a weakness for gunshot wounds. That statement reads lamentably ghoulish splashed across my computer screen, but I can’t help it.
Read Full Article
The Extinction Event

He was the last one. Like the dodo, the Tasmanian tiger, the passenger pigeon, or the Great Auk, William Strickland was the very last of his species.
Read Full Article
Hunger, Sleep...

I had not slept in three days. In the modern age, the U.S. Army can’t legally hit you. However, they do liberally employ hunger and sleep deprivation as...
Read Full Article
Be Careful Where...

It was a torrid summer Saturday in the Mississippi Delta, and the air was so thick you could tear off a chunk and gnaw it.
Read Full Article
Beat Feet

It was Friday evening in the urban ER where I worked, and the freaks were out in force.
Read Full Article
Momentous Moments

This is likely to make you smile like a Democrat at a gun buyback event.
Read Full Article
Green Dentistry 

There is this massive infrastructure focused on meeting the medical and dental needs of our boys and girls in military uniform. Sometimes, however, you...
Read Full Article
The Big Chill in...

Some two decades later my children don’t remember the New Orleans zoo, the WWII Museum or the food. However, from now until the sun burns out they will...
Read Full Article
The Pyromaniac's...

I have thus far inadvertently instigated three proper forest fires. This is indeed not the sort of thing about which one should boast.
Read Full Article
The Wet Naked Man

Imagine if you will a 19-year-old wet, terrified man shivering in an office wearing nothing but a woman’s sexy transparent nightgown.
Read Full Article
The Verminator

Watching the Verminator work became a social event.
Read Full Article
Man Often...

We study only that which we might conveniently perceive and then declare with assurance that there is no God. Reality is something else entirely.
Read Full Article
Humphrey the Hummer

I had my own Humvee in the desert. As the Aviation liaison officer, I moved about constantly from one command to another coordinating air support.
Read Full Article
How to Die Well

I knew him less than three days, yet I count him among my dearest friends. He showed me how to die well.
Read Full Article
How Fast is Fast...

One of the more common letters I get here are readers worrying if their self-defense load is adequate. Regardless of the caliber, they still worry.
Read Full Article
Time and General...

The passage of time has fascinated humans since the very beginning. As was so compellingly depicted in the Christopher Nolan movie “Interstellar,”...
Read Full Article
The Pigeon Patrol

Sometimes the easiest solutions are indeed the best. In this case, a young man with a sandwich and a tennis racquet ...
Read Full Article
The Gunist

Just because he can sell refrigerators, doesn’t mean he can work in our industry selling gun stuff.
Read Full Article
Cool School

I’m from Mississippi. It’s hot down here — like Africa hot. In the summertime, the humidity is so thick you can tear off a piece of air and gnaw on it,
Read Full Article
Acquisitional ...

Am I a collector — or do I simply seem to acquire guns haphazardly as they catch my eye?
Read Full Article
The Duelists

A big-city emergency room is a unique place. Back when I did my time I never went a full shift without at least one gunshot wound. My personal record was seven.
Read Full Article

Click Here To View More GunCrank Diaries Articles